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STEWART: They put them on crash diets. Girls sign up, they start out with a nude virtual character and they compete against other girls to earn so-called "bimbo dollars" so they can buy these virtually sexy outfits and go out clubbing. OK. So I looked up the guy who started it, 23-years-old. Tried to make sure he was real.
The legal definition of a child can vary from country to country - and even states within countries - but it's generally agreed you can't go around dreaming about a teenager in their underwear until they've passed that great invisible milestone, the age of consent. Or if you do, you don't talk about it.
And yet here's Brooklyn Beckham giving us something else to scratch our heads over, other than his family's incessant quest for world domination. He's the latest in a long line of tween-to-teen sex symbols who've been finally declared "Hot, ready, and legal" by a load of people who are, at best, pretty cold, desperate and morally bankrupt. This time, it's Tatler doing the inappropriate salivating:
Now he's "legal" - no word on whether he's remotely interested in you or willing to be a part of your gross fantasies, of course - it's open season on having improper thoughts about the no doubt bemused teenager.
Polite society has, quite rightly, flagged concerns as the press counts down the days to young females' sexual availability, but so far it's perfectly acceptable to let out a barely concealed "phwoar" at the vision of a teenage boy in his scants. Witness the chest-clutching surrounding everything One Direction did when they first found fame, especially floppy-haired, MILF-loving teenage lothario Harry Styles. Your mother's opinions of him are likely to relieve you of your lunch.
Thankfully, on 21 May 2012, Tom finally got to climb to the top diving board and turned 18, leading to an inundation of articles about how sexy he was, complemented by pictures of him canoodling models (sigh) or leaping about in his underwear, under the guise of "Well, he's a diver; it's OK to show him in next-to-nothing." And with his lucrative sideline as a calendar model, Tom's been canny to exploit this to the max. Fast-forward to a coming out and an engagement, with his future husband Dustin Lance Black as an added extra, you're never too far away from a topless selfie of our Tom.
Rolling Stone was also responsible for Britney Spears's first photoshoot in her underwear, shortly after the release of her very first single. Britney wasn't quite "hot, ready and legal" enough then, so she had to make do with "Inside the heart, mind and bedroom of a teen dream" as her pretty tame coverline instead. And we all know how that one played out.
It is perhaps a reaction to society's pathological fear of accidentally sexualising children that we take the first opportunity we get once they've reached the age of maturity. From the scandal of a childrenswear store selling what was perceived as 'sexy lingerie' in the 1990s to agonising over the early performances of Christina Ricci and Natalie Portman in sexually ambiguous roles, we've long been afraid of talking ourselves to the gallows. 041b061a72
